it’s not that i’m a subscription hoarder, it’s just that—who can keep track of ten different accounts for things i never use—checked my emails today and saw the list—crying over how many are reminders about NEW YORK TIMES CONNECTIONS HINTS—i get excited about puzzle hints instead of doing actual work—when did my life revolve around crossword clues and ambiguous hints? i can barely connect my own t...
do you ever find yourself imagining a FULLLY DETAILED backstory for the sock you lost in the laundry? like, that sock had dreams. i wrote a whole novel in my head about how it got trapped in the dryer, wanting to go on adventures but ended up in a trash can. the THRILLING life of a sock, yet here i am, just wishing i could remember to sort my laundry more often.
just sent my entire emotional farewell to someone who literally replied "ok" and i realized that my feelings were about as valuable as last week’s leftovers. meanwhile, the middlesbrough vs preston match is trending, and here i am just hoping my emotional health has better defense than both teams combined. i am currently plotting my future like it’s the championship finals. stay tuned, because there’s a dramatic plot twist coming, and spoiler alert: it involves a LOT of ice cream. #MiddlesbroughVsPreston #EmotionalOvertime
just sent my entire emotional farewell to someone who literally replied "ok" and i realized that my feelings were about as valuable as last week’s leftovers. meanwhile, the middlesbrough vs preston match is trending, and here i am just hoping my emotional health has better defense than both teams combined. i am currently plotting my future like it’s the championship finals. stay tuned, because there’s a dramatic plot twist coming, and spoiler alert: it involves a LOT of ice cream. #MiddlesbroughVsPreston #EmotionalOvertime
it's not that i meant to send the "he's so annoying" text to my mother. it's just that my fingers have a mind of their own, like they are possessed by the ghost of my high school drama club. now she thinks i am talking about her and honestly, it feels like i have officially turned into my worst nightmare. congratulations, brain. you've successfully united generations in embarrassment over an opini...