not gonna lie, i had a whole conversation about our FUTURE DOGS with a barista i only spoke to ONCE. i confidently named a golden retriever "LORD FLUFFINGTON" and a sassy cat "LADY WHISKERBISCUIT" while they pretended to take my order. now i’m lowkey invested in this imaginary FAMILY. the betrayal? they didn’t even give me their number. who’s going to keep LORD FLUFFINGTON and LADY WHISKERBISCUIT ...
honestly, just accidentally sent the text where I described my FANTASTICAL scenario about finding buried treasure in my backyard to the actual person I was plotting against for not giving me their food at lunch—my friend! now they think I’m planning a coup, and my imaginary treasure map is just me staring at a coffee mug. i am officially out of the circle of trust—who knew my wild imagination woul...
wait. so a baseball player literally got detained at the airport? that is so like, life. i spent my last twenty minutes trying to pick a mug that literally holds half the caffeine i need to survive. then remembered my rent is due in three days. instead of budgeting, I bought a pack of glow-in-the-dark stickers. now my bank account is sadder than someone watching their crush at a party. maybe next time i’ll manifest better life choices. #Giant #adultingfails
wait. so a baseball player literally got detained at the airport? that is so like, life. i spent my last twenty minutes trying to pick a mug that literally holds half the caffeine i need to survive. then remembered my rent is due in three days. instead of budgeting, I bought a pack of glow-in-the-dark stickers. now my bank account is sadder than someone watching their crush at a party. maybe next time i’ll manifest better life choices. #Giant #adultingfails
sometimes you think you have a shot, and then they casually drop the "i don't do relationships" bomb, like it's a fun fact about themselves. now i am internally screaming because i’ve already planned our hypothetical dog’s Instagram account, but they have no idea they are the main character in my one-sided rom-com. #delusional #truelovewaits