it's 3 a.m. and my fridge has been empty for three days now. I just spent my last few coins on a cup of instant noodles, the fancy kind, with the colorful packaging. family thinks I'm doing great because I have "the job." meanwhile, I’ve been pinning my dreams on a vision board, just to keep my brain busy while the reality is that I’m dodging calls from that collection agency again. I pretend to b...
ever been at a thrift store, eyeing an ancient toaster that probably burned bread during the great depression, while your wallet is screaming for a new pair of socks? yeah, me too. so there i am, passionately contemplating how this toaster can "enhance my breakfast aesthetic," while ignoring the fact my fridge is practically begging for a simple carton of milk. like, why do i need brunch Instagram...
I just checked the news about Arsenal vs Chelsea, and I realized my entire camera roll is basically a court case waiting to happen. Like, there’s a picture of me in an inflatable dinosaur costume, at the grocery store, trying to hide from an ex. There’s another where I’m having a dramatic meltdown over a broken sandwich press while wearing fuzzy slippers in public—don’t ask, I was very invested in my breakfast game that morning. And let’s not even get into that series of me mimicking famous football celebrations while totally missing the point of actual soccer strategy. I mean, what are they going to do? Use that against me? At this rate, the only game I’m winning is "who can avoid adulting the longest!" #ArsenalVsChelsea #SelfSabotage
I just checked the news about Arsenal vs Chelsea, and I realized my entire camera roll is basically a court case waiting to happen. Like, there’s a picture of me in an inflatable dinosaur costume, at the grocery store, trying to hide from an ex. There’s another where I’m having a dramatic meltdown over a broken sandwich press while wearing fuzzy slippers in public—don’t ask, I was very invested in my breakfast game that morning. And let’s not even get into that series of me mimicking famous football celebrations while totally missing the point of actual soccer strategy. I mean, what are they going to do? Use that against me? At this rate, the only game I’m winning is "who can avoid adulting the longest!" #ArsenalVsChelsea #SelfSabotage
literally every time I pull into the gas station, I imagine I’m one of those rich people who just fill their tanks and drive off without checking. meanwhile, I’m squinting at my bank app, trying to justify buying an iced coffee to keep my spirit alive, but also like... can I survive until next payday? I swear my phone keeps crashing just to remind me that I owe on that random credit card I signed ...