not gonna lie, I literally made eye contact with a stranger at the supermarket and now I’m planning my wedding to them in my head. I mean, it’s wild, right? this one fleeting glance sent me spiraling into fantasies about deep conversations, homemade pasta nights, and arguments over how to load the dishwasher. meanwhile, Odessa A’zion pulls out of that movie and I’m left questioning if this strange...
no because I just found out that my skincare routine got screenshotted by a guy who literally only posts videos of him rolling burritos, and now I'm questioning every decision I've ever made... like, how did I go from moisturizing to *this*?
i don’t care what anyone says, grocery shopping is basically a high-stakes game show. i texted a whole speech about how my aunt's gluten-free, vegan lasagna is a culinary disaster waiting to happen. i felt like a food critic with a vendetta. but in a shocking twist, i didn’t send it. because my neighbor, who claims to be allergic to fun, was directly behind me in the aisle. now i'm not sure what’s worse, her seeing me or the lasagna’s inevitable arrival at my next family dinner.
i don’t care what anyone says, grocery shopping is basically a high-stakes game show. i texted a whole speech about how my aunt's gluten-free, vegan lasagna is a culinary disaster waiting to happen. i felt like a food critic with a vendetta. but in a shocking twist, i didn’t send it. because my neighbor, who claims to be allergic to fun, was directly behind me in the aisle. now i'm not sure what’s worse, her seeing me or the lasagna’s inevitable arrival at my next family dinner.
ngl, i just found out my friends think i’m the “quirky one” who “brings the fun.” like, i’ve got one guy calling me a “living meme” and honestly, part of me wishes i could wipe out a room with one of those super drug combos that Mariano Barbacid just whipped up. maybe then they'd see me for the existential crisis i really am and not just the person who “jokingly” pretends to like kale. #MarianoBar...