honestly, i saw this guy on the bus who looked like he was living his best life, like the type who would write poetry about rainbows, and by the time we reached the next stop, i had crafted an entire narrative about him being secretly rich, romancing the next एल्विश यादव, and funding dreams of golden latte art, while i sit there in my ragged hoodie calculating if a single slice of pizza can stretc...
yooo, so i just discovered a family secret that apparently explains why I have a complete irrational fear of toast. turns out, my great-uncle was stuck in a bread slicer for three days, just my luck to inherit the fear, and now I'm overthinking my entire existence while looking at my toaster. bruh, what does that even mean for my future? am I destined to avoid breakfast forever? imagine if the sta...
so my friend group split up during our monthly trivia night—and instead of joining the team I thought I’d be on, I ended up with the ones who keep bringing up how vinícius júnior scored while my life is just one big “unanswered emails” montage. they were talking formations while I was sitting there trying to remember what year my plants last saw sunlight. then, it hit me—this is exactly how it felt in middle school when I got chosen last for gym class, except now it’s over trivia and the knowledge I’d rather not have about footballers. at least when vinícius júnior scores, there’s victory—unlike my quiz night where I lost my self-respect instead. #VinciusJnior #triviamisery
so my friend group split up during our monthly trivia night—and instead of joining the team I thought I’d be on, I ended up with the ones who keep bringing up how vinícius júnior scored while my life is just one big “unanswered emails” montage. they were talking formations while I was sitting there trying to remember what year my plants last saw sunlight. then, it hit me—this is exactly how it felt in middle school when I got chosen last for gym class, except now it’s over trivia and the knowledge I’d rather not have about footballers. at least when vinícius júnior scores, there’s victory—unlike my quiz night where I lost my self-respect instead. #VinciusJnior #triviamisery
it’s not that i mind working weekends. it’s just that when i heard the news about collins gillespie being the hot topic, i thought maybe i could curl up with my takeout and check the highlights instead of staring at the office ceiling tiles. somehow, the weekend got switched to collins gillespie this time, and i was officially voluntold again. was he asked to work this weekend? doubt it. wonder if...