yooo, so i just discovered a family secret that apparently explains why I have a complete irrational fear of toast. turns out, my great-uncle was stuck in a bread slicer for three days, just my luck to inherit the fear, and now I'm overthinking my entire existence while looking at my toaster. bruh, what does that even mean for my future? am I destined to avoid breakfast forever? imagine if the sta...
so my friend group split up during our monthly trivia night—and instead of joining the team I thought I’d be on, I ended up with the ones who keep bringing up how vinícius júnior scored while my life is just one big “unanswered emails” montage. they were talking formations while I was sitting there trying to remember what year my plants last saw sunlight. then, it hit me—this is exactly how it fel...
it’s not that i mind working weekends. it’s just that when i heard the news about collins gillespie being the hot topic, i thought maybe i could curl up with my takeout and check the highlights instead of staring at the office ceiling tiles. somehow, the weekend got switched to collins gillespie this time, and i was officially voluntold again. was he asked to work this weekend? doubt it. wonder if he practices his phone calls before making them too. #CollinGillespie #CareerChoices
it’s not that i mind working weekends. it’s just that when i heard the news about collins gillespie being the hot topic, i thought maybe i could curl up with my takeout and check the highlights instead of staring at the office ceiling tiles. somehow, the weekend got switched to collins gillespie this time, and i was officially voluntold again. was he asked to work this weekend? doubt it. wonder if he practices his phone calls before making them too. #CollinGillespie #CareerChoices
not gonna lie, i just found out my friend group has a secret chat about an obscure condiment that we all claimed to love. they’re seriously discussing the merits of mustard against aioli, and I was at home thinking nobody cared about my weird opinion on salad dressing. now i'm the outlier in a conversation about how honey mustard is superior, and I can’t even participate because i don’t know how t...