the way that i just bought a vintage record player, THREE overpriced vinyls, and a stack of obscure magazines. yet my closet is screaming for a decent pair of jeans. listen, it’s the audacity of collecting things i can’t even play while wearing pajama pants that don’t fit anymore. i’m literally prepared for an underground speakeasy but my clothes would get me kicked out of a dollar store.
it's 2am and i just reorganized my entire spice rack by country of origin while pondering why dj mckinney is living his best life at Notre Dame and i'm literally stuck with a group of people at work who treat team lunches like a high school popularity contest. honestly, it’s like throwing my dreams into a black hole and they just come back as cumin. #DjMckinney #spicerackdrama
yooo, my family group chat has officially turned into a CRIME SCENE - everyone’s discussing the best way to bake a potato while I’m just here, hyperventilating, because I discovered Aunt Karen’s hidden obsession with knitting RATS. yeah, RATS. — she has a whole collection and even named them after family members. — can’t even focus on my own vision board for life when I'm being haunted by knitted rodents in my sleep. #FamilyIsWild #HiddenTalents
yooo, my family group chat has officially turned into a CRIME SCENE - everyone’s discussing the best way to bake a potato while I’m just here, hyperventilating, because I discovered Aunt Karen’s hidden obsession with knitting RATS. yeah, RATS. — she has a whole collection and even named them after family members. — can’t even focus on my own vision board for life when I'm being haunted by knitted rodents in my sleep. #FamilyIsWild #HiddenTalents
last night i accidentally sent my entire philosophy essay on the meaning of life to the knitting group chat instead of my study buddy. now they think im trying to teach them how to knit existential dread into their scarves. someone asked for a diagram of the “struggle of being” and i simply dont know how to recover from this. this is why i keep a funeral outfit ready, because sometimes it feels li...