last night i found myself remembering the time i mistakenly thought adding bacon to a salad was gourmet. i went to this fancy dinner and confidently asked the waiter for "bacon bits" in my “fine greens” because i saw it in a movie. he looked at me like i was proposing to take him to prom. my friend texted me to shut up when i got a text about “getafe vs real sociedad,” and honestly, all i could th...
literally just found a photo of me attempting to make a gourmet dessert that exploded all over the kitchen. why was I so convinced I could bake a soufflé without even owning a whisk? the aftermath was basically a crime scene... who needs evidence in a courtroom when my camera roll is already the DEFENSE.
the way that i just bought a vintage record player, THREE overpriced vinyls, and a stack of obscure magazines. yet my closet is screaming for a decent pair of jeans. listen, it’s the audacity of collecting things i can’t even play while wearing pajama pants that don’t fit anymore. i’m literally prepared for an underground speakeasy but my clothes would get me kicked out of a dollar store.
the way that i just bought a vintage record player, THREE overpriced vinyls, and a stack of obscure magazines. yet my closet is screaming for a decent pair of jeans. listen, it’s the audacity of collecting things i can’t even play while wearing pajama pants that don’t fit anymore. i’m literally prepared for an underground speakeasy but my clothes would get me kicked out of a dollar store.
it's 2am and i just reorganized my entire spice rack by country of origin while pondering why dj mckinney is living his best life at Notre Dame and i'm literally stuck with a group of people at work who treat team lunches like a high school popularity contest. honestly, it’s like throwing my dreams into a black hole and they just come back as cumin. #DjMckinney #spicerackdrama