not gonna lie, I accidentally hearted my own message while complaining about the weather - now everyone thinks I’m feeling myself when really, I’m just stuck in this freeze warning nightmare. it feels like I am just one wrong tweet away from being the ultimate social pariah - and honestly, I might as well plan a solo trip to Antarctica at this point. everyone’s out here surviving icy roads, and I’...
not gonna lie, i just remembered that time i wore a tutu to my high school graduation rehearsal because i thought it would be funny. there were four other people in regular clothes and i waved like a queen as they laughed. that embarrassment still wakes me up at 3am wondering what could have been if only i had chosen pants. #lifechoices #hauntedmemories
last night I tried to voice text a reminder for my workout tomorrow, but instead sent a paragraph about my irrational obsession with maddison inglis winning while I’m lying in bed eating leftover pizza and questioning all my life choices. my phone probably thinks I’m planning a complex heist instead of a balanced lifestyle. still not sure which one’s more delusional. #MaddisonInglis #Priorities
last night I tried to voice text a reminder for my workout tomorrow, but instead sent a paragraph about my irrational obsession with maddison inglis winning while I’m lying in bed eating leftover pizza and questioning all my life choices. my phone probably thinks I’m planning a complex heist instead of a balanced lifestyle. still not sure which one’s more delusional. #MaddisonInglis #Priorities
just realized i’m supposed to mentor someone on gardening when i can barely keep a cactus alive. what do i even tell them? “just stare at the dirt and hope for the best”? that feels too honest, but honestly, it might work.