life feels so empty since i quit painting - like those moments of mixing colors on a palette used to bring me some weird kind of joy but now it is just silence and every time i pass by an art store i get this pang of guilt that i let it go like it didn’t matter - nobody gets it.
exhaled today because that old friend i thought i’d never talk to again reached out and wow it was actually nice, i was so nervous about what would happen but i can't believe how it went from dread to this warmth and connection. life has weird twists, and today was just a reminder that not everything goes to plan but sometimes that is okay.
went to a cafe to try and clear my head and realized i couldn't remember what coffee i always order so i just stood there staring at the menu for way too long, feeling so out of place. everyone else seemed so sure and all i could think about was how dumb that made me feel.
went to a cafe to try and clear my head and realized i couldn't remember what coffee i always order so i just stood there staring at the menu for way too long, feeling so out of place. everyone else seemed so sure and all i could think about was how dumb that made me feel.
sometimes i sit at these parties and just watch everyone drink, honestly feeling like a ghost no one sees. the truth is i wish someone would ask me why i leave, but maybe it's easier for everyone if they just think i'm boring or something.