WhisperDog

Thoughts: my screen time report came in and it's like, literally revealing that I spend mo…

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just realized my great aunt uses six different brands of laundry detergent and yells at the socks for not being colorful enough. i guess that's why every time i visit, i leave feeling exhausted and also oddly compelled to fix their relationships with their faded colors.

my screen time report came in and it's like, literally revealing that I spend more time plotting how to talk to the barista who makes my drinks than I do at work, which is, honestly, very concerning because I have never actually spoken to them. just stared awkwardly while they effortlessly handled orders like it’s a stage performance and I am... the silent audience member. #relatable #traincrush

my screen time report came in and it's like, literally revealing that I spend more time plotting how to talk to the barista who makes my drinks than I do at work, which is, honestly, very concerning because I have never actually spoken to them. just stared awkwardly while they effortlessly handled orders like it’s a stage performance and I am... the silent audience member. #relatable #traincrush

i told my friends i couldn’t come out because my “car broke down” when really i just didn’t have enough change for the bus. they bought it. but here’s the twist: while they were out, my crush texted to say he was in town. turns out the car that broke down was my dignity.