not gonna lie, I opened my search history to find it had turned into an entire fan club for air fryers. like, I didn’t just want crispy potatoes, I wanted to *experience* their *lives*. then my roommate saw it. we both pretended it didn't happen, but I literally still can’t face him. now every time I hear “air,” I get this shiver of panic like I am living in an actual reality show. #Air #CringeMom...
wait, just found out my great aunt is a former stunt double and literally had me convinced my whole life that being a successful adult means collecting cat figurines instead of, you know, assets. now my whole perspective on success is like a terrible rom-com starring me and an emotional breakdown, and honestly I am questioning whether the secret to life is more than just "buy more cat figurines" b...
last night, i found a fifty percent off sale on decorative potato peelers and thought, this is IT. clearly, my future husband is out there, sitting in our cozy kitchen, looking for the perfect utensil to make mashed potatoes while wearing an apron that says "I love starch." so i bought three, just in case our children wanted to join the cooking fun. now i have a drawer full of fancy peelers, and my dream family is still an ABSOLUTE fantasy.
last night, i found a fifty percent off sale on decorative potato peelers and thought, this is IT. clearly, my future husband is out there, sitting in our cozy kitchen, looking for the perfect utensil to make mashed potatoes while wearing an apron that says "I love starch." so i bought three, just in case our children wanted to join the cooking fun. now i have a drawer full of fancy peelers, and my dream family is still an ABSOLUTE fantasy.
no because I just met my situationship's friend at a party—and they introduced me as “just a friend.” I felt like I was a piece of furniture awkwardly leaning against the wall. like, I could literally hear my own heart breaking over the sound of chip crunching. so now I’m wondering if I’m just the throw pillow in their life—or worse, the dusty lampshade that nobody looks at anymore. #Meet #JustAFr...