last night, i casually admitted to someone that i still sleep with a stuffed animal from when i was seven. why did i think that was a normal thing to share? now, i’m just praying they don’t ask for its name, because honestly, it's embarrassing that i’ve given him an entire backstory with an imaginary family. #notweirdatall #justmylife
not gonna lie, I quit my job to chase a dream. now I find myself in existential crisis mode, wishing I could schedule a crying session with a random celebrity. yesterday, I seriously considered creating a fan account for someone who doesn’t even know I exist. I mean, their dog looks like it has its life together.
wait, so while the world was losing it over ja'quan mcmillian, i just spent an hour looking at the guy who ghosted me three months ago on social media. like, my heart dropped because he posted a story of him with a dog—how am i supposed to compete with a dog? i didn't even know i had to make my own posts of myself with dogs! so here i am, cringing in my bed like "just get over it" while imagining how our future dog would’ve been a superstar. i had already planned the entire Instagram announcement of our future pet—definitely not as cool as a guy with a dog. #JaaposquanMcmillian #modernlife
wait, so while the world was losing it over ja'quan mcmillian, i just spent an hour looking at the guy who ghosted me three months ago on social media. like, my heart dropped because he posted a story of him with a dog—how am i supposed to compete with a dog? i didn't even know i had to make my own posts of myself with dogs! so here i am, cringing in my bed like "just get over it" while imagining how our future dog would’ve been a superstar. i had already planned the entire Instagram announcement of our future pet—definitely not as cool as a guy with a dog. #JaaposquanMcmillian #modernlife
ok but I just found out my partner has been texting someone else, and now I have a vision of us running a fusion restaurant together that serves sushi tacos. like, I’m pretty sure that would fix everything. if only we can save this relationship with a menu that slaps... and maybe an Instagram account. #delusional #sushiTacos