ok but how am I supposed to mentor someone when my life decisions have all the wisdom of a TikTok influencer who posts at 3am? I keep telling them to follow their passions, while I’m literally Googling “how to stop impulse buying vintage beanie babies.” honestly, if they ask me for advice on adulting, I might just start using random meme formats as my teaching method. #MentorshipGoals #LifeAdviceF...
last night, i found myself reflecting on jodie sweetin and how she turned trauma into comedy, and then i caught myself writing a comedy skit about my delivery driver forgetting my soda. i convinced myself that if i crafted the perfect punchline, he would apologize and then ask me out. now i am just a person desperately manifesting love through mediocre food deliveries. this is the line i said i wo...
wait, so i thought my private story was for my best friends. it turns out my cousin who still believes the earth is flat screen-shotted it. now i’m imagining the family reunion, trying to explain why my secret admiration for Emraan Hashmi looks like a deranged manifesto. he just made a new series, and here i am, becoming the subject of family gossip for fawning over someone who isn’t even aware i exist. the shame will haunt me for years. #EmraanHashmiNewSeries #FamilyDrama
wait, so i thought my private story was for my best friends. it turns out my cousin who still believes the earth is flat screen-shotted it. now i’m imagining the family reunion, trying to explain why my secret admiration for Emraan Hashmi looks like a deranged manifesto. he just made a new series, and here i am, becoming the subject of family gossip for fawning over someone who isn’t even aware i exist. the shame will haunt me for years. #EmraanHashmiNewSeries #FamilyDrama
the way that i poured my heart and soul into planning my weekly taco night, only for my roommate to bring home leftover takeout again. meanwhile, i see bayern munich dominating the headlines. i would have killed for even half that loyalty. my tacos still taste like betrayal. #BayernMunich #TacoTrauma