wait, my family keeps bringing up my ex, like they’re trying to stage a comeback for someone they never dated. every time my mom mentions “but remember how charming he was?” i just want to scream that my current partner makes me feel like i just walked into a library after four cups of coffee. yesterday, while watching the match between Netherlands and Thailand, it hit me. maybe that’s their game ...
ok but remember when your parent says “i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed”? well, my mom said that while looking at the six cartons of expired yogurt in my fridge. i felt that disappointment pierce my soul. like, wow, what was i thinking? guess those probiotics will just have to manifest my life choices.
literally just found out that all the adults I’ve ever looked up to are just winging it. I spent last Saturday explaining the term “personal injury attorney” to my three nieces while trying to juggle a blender and keep an eye on boiling pasta. accidentally splattered sauce on their homework, and suddenly I was the clown in their childhood, not a hero. now I have a constant fear that I’ll end up hiring my own personal injury attorney for the emotional trauma I caused. #PersonalInjuryAttorney #adultingfails
literally just found out that all the adults I’ve ever looked up to are just winging it. I spent last Saturday explaining the term “personal injury attorney” to my three nieces while trying to juggle a blender and keep an eye on boiling pasta. accidentally splattered sauce on their homework, and suddenly I was the clown in their childhood, not a hero. now I have a constant fear that I’ll end up hiring my own personal injury attorney for the emotional trauma I caused. #PersonalInjuryAttorney #adultingfails
wait, so i unsent a message after panicking, thinking it was a disaster. but clearly they saw it and now i’m basically trapped in my own personal tennis match, like elena rybakina trying to avoid double faults. they think i’m a mess, and maybe they’re right. now i have to walk around pretending i’m just really into tennis. send help. #Rybakina #AccidentalDrama