so I was just like, minding my own business, contemplating if I should tweet my hot take on fruit smoothies, when I find out my best friend literally told someone my secret about how I think squirrels are secretly plotting against us. and like, I thought we were close, but she straight up exposed me to this girl who, by the way, follows all those conspiracy accounts on social media. like, what if ...
yooo, so I found out my side hustle is covering all my expenses now, which sounds great, right? until I realized my "workplace" is just me yelling at my plants to grow faster while pretending my living room is a corporate office. bruh, the only meeting I have scheduled is with my cat, who honestly checks out during the big presentations. and here comes the kicker, I’m about to get a second cat for...
so I just spent an hour arguing with Kourtney Kardashian in my head about why avocado toast doesn’t count as a real breakfast. I was completely right, obviously, but now I feel like I’m genuinely mad at her for something she didn’t even say. honestly, I can’t believe she’s just out there living her life while I’m here contemplating my toast options. #KourtneyKardashian #delulu
so I just spent an hour arguing with Kourtney Kardashian in my head about why avocado toast doesn’t count as a real breakfast. I was completely right, obviously, but now I feel like I’m genuinely mad at her for something she didn’t even say. honestly, I can’t believe she’s just out there living her life while I’m here contemplating my toast options. #KourtneyKardashian #delulu
i just saw photos of the heavy snow storm in Nashville. naturally, i thought of how that time in high school i took a snow day photo and my entire wardrobe was one giant tragic fashion fail. that was the day my mom accidentally told the world my secret crush was basically the guy in my “look, i’m in a winter wonderland” picture. but now, in this moment of snow and feelings, i look in the mirror an...