so last week i was talking about my favorite soup at the grocery store and turned to the person next to me to say how much i love it - and realized halfway through that it was a stranger and not my friend and their face just went blank - awkward silence for like 5 seconds and i just walked away slowly thinking about how i should really know better by now.
just saw a post about someone i used to talk to all the time and i literally sat there scrolling through my contacts like why do i have nobody to call, it feels so empty and i thought about sending a text but honestly i know i wouldn’t even know what to say and it’s like all these memories keep hitting me and now they feel like ghosts or something.
spent 40 minutes getting the energy to walk to the mailbox and then saw my neighbor jogging past me like it was nothing, my eyes watered cause it felt like another reminder that i might never feel that light again. my favorite sweater is piled in the corner collecting dust and everyone acts like its no big deal when i just want to feel normal for once.
spent 40 minutes getting the energy to walk to the mailbox and then saw my neighbor jogging past me like it was nothing, my eyes watered cause it felt like another reminder that i might never feel that light again. my favorite sweater is piled in the corner collecting dust and everyone acts like its no big deal when i just want to feel normal for once.
so they sent a grief counselor for one day after our coworker died and then gave us a deadline for the quarterly reports like wow, thanks for the support, but my heart is not going to file these spreadsheets on time, also who decided to schedule a meeting to discuss productivity right after that, like seriously what is happening, it is all just a circus where the clowns are my feelings.