the way that I just found out my friends think I'm the "pick four" of the group, you know, like no one ever really chooses me but I still keep imagining I could be the jackpot— like what if I just show up in a wild moment and everyone realizes I’m the LIFE of the party? meanwhile, I’m out here checking lottery results just to remind myself how unlucky I truly am while calculating the odds of them ...
bruh, just had a full-blown argument in my head about voter lists. like, I am genuinely mad at someone who didn't even say anything. it all started when I saw that Sonia Gandhi story. I imagined us debating— I was a brilliant debater— and suddenly I’m infuriated over nothing. now I have to see them at the grocery store and pretend we didn’t just spend two hours disagreeing in my mind. #VoterList #...
just sat through the most awkward team meeting where my boss said "we're like family here" right before dropping the bomb that there are no raises this year. literally felt my soul leave my body when he said that. now i'm picturing my work life like a chaotic family reunion, where everyone's pretending to be happy while secretly plotting their escape. honestly, at this point, i'm convinced my boss might be the weird uncle who just eats all the snacks and leaves us broke. what if he actually IS my long-lost relative? time to start connecting the dots. #LloydPope #officefamilydrama
just sat through the most awkward team meeting where my boss said "we're like family here" right before dropping the bomb that there are no raises this year. literally felt my soul leave my body when he said that. now i'm picturing my work life like a chaotic family reunion, where everyone's pretending to be happy while secretly plotting their escape. honestly, at this point, i'm convinced my boss might be the weird uncle who just eats all the snacks and leaves us broke. what if he actually IS my long-lost relative? time to start connecting the dots. #LloydPope #officefamilydrama
I just realized that I made a life choice so bad, it feels like I’m running a one-person reality show titled "what was I thinking?" My parent looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” Then I remembered I spent an entire month trying to train my goldfish to come when I called it. Now, here I am. Just… what even is my life?