ok but I just found myself googling "what do hedge mazes look like" because I thought it would impress my favorite historian on a documentary I watched. like, who needs to ask their parents when you can spiral into a rabbit hole about geometric shrubbery and its cultural significance? I need to get a grip on my delusions…
bruh, just walked into work to find my coworker claiming MY project like it’s a rare collectible, and honestly, now I am manifesting the day they’ll get hit by a metaphorical bus of karma—while I’m over here thinking maybe I should start a personal blog chronicling my wild journey to become a renowned artist… from the dark void of the break room—last time I brought a snack, my soul left my body. #...
literally spent an hour creating a whole fan page dedicated to my crush's dog. found out they have an entire fan account for their favorite player, zac robinson. in a fit of jealousy, I DM'd them an unsolicited manifesto on why dog owners are better than football fans. they read it and left me on delivered. now I'm contemplating life decisions while their dog follows me back. #ZacRobinson #AwkwardBeef
literally spent an hour creating a whole fan page dedicated to my crush's dog. found out they have an entire fan account for their favorite player, zac robinson. in a fit of jealousy, I DM'd them an unsolicited manifesto on why dog owners are better than football fans. they read it and left me on delivered. now I'm contemplating life decisions while their dog follows me back. #ZacRobinson #AwkwardBeef
it's not that i'm mad, it's just that my life feels like a soap opera without a script. my neighbor’s kid—who once tried to trade me his goldfish for a snack—just became the head of our apartment committee. he doesn’t know how to balance a checkbook, but he's been practicing 'leadership' by assigning chores for a fantasy league of laundry. suddenly, my trash cans have rules and I'm contemplating l...