ever smile at someone’s failure, like, when they always acted like they were literally untouchable? well, i watched them spill coffee all over themselves right before their big meeting and i won’t lie, a tiny part of me felt like justice had been served, especially since i had to mop up their mess last time they thought my idea was a joke. i can’t help but wonder if the universe is just as petty a...
have you ever realized your friends have a secret chat, and it feels like finding out they planned a heist without you? just last week, i found out my group has been swapping Freddie Prinze Jr. memes while i’m over here sending long texts about my existential dread. clearly, their bond is strong, and here i am plotting how to hack my own chat just to get a meme about the one bathroom rule that kee...
wait. so my private story got screenshotted by my cousin who thinks they’re the ultimate art critic? now they are analyzing my ten-minute spaghetti tutorial like it's a lost Da Vinci masterpiece. like, excuse me, do you have a degree in “boiling pasta for dummies”? next thing you know, they will be writing a thesis on my use of salt. at this point, I might as well enroll in culinary school for real.
wait. so my private story got screenshotted by my cousin who thinks they’re the ultimate art critic? now they are analyzing my ten-minute spaghetti tutorial like it's a lost Da Vinci masterpiece. like, excuse me, do you have a degree in “boiling pasta for dummies”? next thing you know, they will be writing a thesis on my use of salt. at this point, I might as well enroll in culinary school for real.
i was at the grocery store, you know, just trying to find the right brand of pickles, when an old lady walked up to me and said, “you remind me of my late husband.” at first, i was literally flattered until she added, “he always had that same dazed look on his face, like he was wondering how he ended up in this aisle.” so, i panicked and said “thank you,” like i was supposed to appreciate being co...