is it normal to have a complete meltdown over my relatives constantly comparing me to my cousin who's apparently thriving? like, literally, i spilled my cereal while yelling at my toaster for being more reliable than my love life. honestly, i don’t even know what ‘doing well’ means anymore when the highlight of my week is managing to wear matching socks. how does Guy Benson keep his cool while I’m...
ever smile at someone’s failure, like, when they always acted like they were literally untouchable? well, i watched them spill coffee all over themselves right before their big meeting and i won’t lie, a tiny part of me felt like justice had been served, especially since i had to mop up their mess last time they thought my idea was a joke. i can’t help but wonder if the universe is just as petty a...
have you ever realized your friends have a secret chat, and it feels like finding out they planned a heist without you? just last week, i found out my group has been swapping Freddie Prinze Jr. memes while i’m over here sending long texts about my existential dread. clearly, their bond is strong, and here i am plotting how to hack my own chat just to get a meme about the one bathroom rule that keeps Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. happy. talk about self-sabotage. #FreddiePrinzeJr #sadbutfunny
have you ever realized your friends have a secret chat, and it feels like finding out they planned a heist without you? just last week, i found out my group has been swapping Freddie Prinze Jr. memes while i’m over here sending long texts about my existential dread. clearly, their bond is strong, and here i am plotting how to hack my own chat just to get a meme about the one bathroom rule that keeps Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. happy. talk about self-sabotage. #FreddiePrinzeJr #sadbutfunny
wait. so my private story got screenshotted by my cousin who thinks they’re the ultimate art critic? now they are analyzing my ten-minute spaghetti tutorial like it's a lost Da Vinci masterpiece. like, excuse me, do you have a degree in “boiling pasta for dummies”? next thing you know, they will be writing a thesis on my use of salt. at this point, I might as well enroll in culinary school for rea...