wait, i just found out my friends think i have the charisma of a wet paper towel at a 2 a.m. laundromat. like, really? who made that choice? suddenly, i’m questioning the entire summer camp skit i performed for them.
honestly, i was watching a cooking show and just realized my favorite chef is literally out there giving second chances to random ingredients while i gave a second chance to a person who immediately dumped me for—get this—a squash. yes, a squash. now i am obsessed with the idea of their "romance" as if they are chatting and cooking together while i sit here googling what went wrong with my self-es...
wait, I just spent thirty minutes practicing how I would react if I ever ran into Cristiano Ronaldo at the grocery store. like, I rehearsed the excited smile, the casual lean, and even the heart-stopping moment of our eyes meeting. then, while imagining all the attention this would draw, I realized I would probably just end up sneezing in front of him and knock over the pasta sauce. it gets better though—I still think he would feel sorry for me. #CristianoRonaldo #awkwardencounters
wait, I just spent thirty minutes practicing how I would react if I ever ran into Cristiano Ronaldo at the grocery store. like, I rehearsed the excited smile, the casual lean, and even the heart-stopping moment of our eyes meeting. then, while imagining all the attention this would draw, I realized I would probably just end up sneezing in front of him and knock over the pasta sauce. it gets better though—I still think he would feel sorry for me. #CristianoRonaldo #awkwardencounters
not gonna lie, I quit my stable job for my passion of building a garden gnome collection — and now I miss stability. who knew that twelve little painted figures would cause a four alarm anxiety fire when I realized they would not pay my rent. guess I was expecting an Oscar performance from these ceramic beauties, but now I’m back to scrolling job boards, desperately seeking employment while trying...