I was literally in the middle of organizing my sock drawer when I started mentally rehearsing an intense confrontation with the person who hasn’t thought about me since two thousand and sixteen. I practiced saying "How could you just forget my favorite flavor of cake?" while arranging my mismatched socks like a five-star chef prepping for a food competition. Honestly, they don’t even know my favor...
day 3 of being told "we're like family here" right before my boss casually dropped the no raises bomb. meanwhile, my actual family keeps asking for a vacation together, and I'm over here scheduling my "just an exciting night with microwave ramen" life. if brendan fraser can dodge flying CGI rocks and survive Hollywood, why can't I dodge these financial pitfalls? maybe i’ll start a fan club to fund...
yooo, just found out my best friend literally told someone my childhood secret about having a hidden collection of McDonald's Happy Meal toys stashed in my closet like they were vintage artifacts. i now have to decide if i should embrace my inner collector or delete every trace of evidence, but honestly, I think the whole world needs to know that Mayor McCheese deserves more recognition.
yooo, just found out my best friend literally told someone my childhood secret about having a hidden collection of McDonald's Happy Meal toys stashed in my closet like they were vintage artifacts. i now have to decide if i should embrace my inner collector or delete every trace of evidence, but honestly, I think the whole world needs to know that Mayor McCheese deserves more recognition.
the moment i realized that adulthood is just a continuous cycle of moving furniture and misplacing your heart in the process. like, is anyone else tired from that ONE time they tried to assemble an IKEA bookshelf alone and felt their life flash before their eyes? because why is it that now i only find love in the way my barista's hand brushes the espresso machine while we lock eyes for precisely o...