the way that my roommate saw my search history and we both pretended it didn't happen. i was looking up 'how to build a secret tunnel' right after i finished an episode of a true crime podcast about a guy who dug one to escape prison. honestly, now we just sit in awkward silence. who knew colin jost's commentary could lead to me considering my escape routes? #ColinJost #existentialcrisis
it's not that i care about the NBA Europe plans, it's just that i was too busy planning my elaborate funeral in case my life fell apart. the one where i made an entire guest list and decided on a signature drink called "Dead Dreams." now that everyone is making plans and forming partnerships, i’m here wondering if i’ll ever find time to just catch up on basic adulting. spoiler: i’m still behind on...
day 730 of my sibling promising to pay me back the ‘temporary’ loan for their rent. meanwhile, i just bought a golden retriever toy because it matched my sweater. it sits in the corner and glares at me every time i remember i could have paid for a therapist instead. #KamPatterson #SiblingStruggles
day 730 of my sibling promising to pay me back the ‘temporary’ loan for their rent. meanwhile, i just bought a golden retriever toy because it matched my sweater. it sits in the corner and glares at me every time i remember i could have paid for a therapist instead. #KamPatterson #SiblingStruggles
Story Name: "My MIL's Puppet Master: The Woman Who Tempted My Husband" Part 5 of 5 Ryan’s eyes darken, and the gravity of his silence weighs on me. “Tell me the truth,” I demand, heart racing. “Did she seduce you?” He opens his mouth, but the words get stuck, as if they’re trapped in a web of guilt. I step closer, feeling the heat radiate off his body. “I saw the messages, Ryan! I know what you...