it’s not that I thought we’d end up together forever or anything... it's just that I gave him a second chance and now he’s learning the latest TikTok dance moves with someone else in my old sweatpants. I mean, who uses a second chance to practice the renegade instead of being a decent human? do they even realize how many times I rewatched that dance tutorial just to impress him…? #TiktokDancesWhat...
last night I was organizing my collection of novelty socks and it hit me—what if I keep people at a distance because I only trust a certain level of cushion? like, do they really need to know that I own a pair with flying squirrels or... do they just see my fuzzy aversion and assume I’m not ready for commitment? I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever thrown out my microwave popcorn-scented candle, so... ...
you ever just sit down and think, why are adults always tired? honestly, I spent an hour rearranging my sock drawer. like, who needs matching socks? then I had to take a two-hour nap just to recover. I literally woke up thinking it’s too exhausting being a responsible adult. who decided adulting would require this much energy? #existentialcrisis #sockdrawerproblems
you ever just sit down and think, why are adults always tired? honestly, I spent an hour rearranging my sock drawer. like, who needs matching socks? then I had to take a two-hour nap just to recover. I literally woke up thinking it’s too exhausting being a responsible adult. who decided adulting would require this much energy? #existentialcrisis #sockdrawerproblems
it's not that i care too much about baseball, it's just that when i heard about the st. louis cardinals making trade moves, i immediately thought, "what if they change everything and my entire life falls apart because of a team i barely watch?" literally, i spent the next hour organizing my kitchen as if balancing spice jars could somehow make me a better fan. now i’m wondering if my small talk is...