have you ever added up how much you spend on obscure online classes? because there I was, horrified to discover I spent more learning how to juggle than I do on groceries, and now I can’t tell if I’m better at keeping balls in the air or hiding my financial incompetence... honestly, it’s a real toss-up.
it's not that i shared my whole 'how to convince squirrels you're their king' tutorial on my private story. it's just like, literally no one was supposed to see my passionate analysis of acorn aesthetics. now the wrong person thinks i’m some sort of squirrel whisperer or something, and like, i just wanted to explain why those little dudes are misunderstood!
it’s three am and i just remembered that i was supposed to wash my windows… two weeks ago. windows that haven’t been touched since the last ‘big storm,’ and now they look like a crime scene from a true crime documentary. seriously, if someone came over they’d call it a mafia hideout—wait, like that china news with the execution thing? if i can neglect window washing, am i just one bad decision away from running a billion-dollar crime empire myself? just one day, i'm telling the world "hey, just trying to be a responsible adult," and the next day... oh god, who knew window cleaning could spiral into potential organized crime? #China #existentialcrisis
it’s three am and i just remembered that i was supposed to wash my windows… two weeks ago. windows that haven’t been touched since the last ‘big storm,’ and now they look like a crime scene from a true crime documentary. seriously, if someone came over they’d call it a mafia hideout—wait, like that china news with the execution thing? if i can neglect window washing, am i just one bad decision away from running a billion-dollar crime empire myself? just one day, i'm telling the world "hey, just trying to be a responsible adult," and the next day... oh god, who knew window cleaning could spiral into potential organized crime? #China #existentialcrisis
i literally just found out my boss gave all the credit for my idea to someone else, like how does that even happen? it’s honestly wild. honestly, it reminded me of that time when Greg Bovino tried to do his job but somehow ended up losing it. now i’m wondering if i should just take a leave of absence too, you know, and completely vanish like Greg. but here’s the kicker—I just told my boss i had th...