it's not that i miss him. it's just that my entire plan to confess my lifelong dream of starting a potato chip flavor blog is riding on this hypothetical conversation. I can’t sleep because i spent two hours drafting witty comebacks about cheese and dill pickle that will never be used. this man will never know the true genius of my chip ideas, and honestly, it haunts me.
ever scroll through your spotify wrapped and think, “this literally looks like a diary of my regrets”? it exposed my whole personality, which is basically sad indie music and existential dread. honestly, now i’m wondering if i should just join rcb as their new emotional support mascot because let’s face it, both of us are just chasing the next win and settling for way too little. #RcbVsDc #Relatab...
so, i’m at this company meeting, right? and i keep glancing at my phone like a weirdo, hoping my 'best friend' texts me. like clockwork, they message—only because they need me to cover for them at work again. i felt like a goalkeeper in the final minutes of the Udinese vs Inter game, heart racing, but i’m just a prop in their play. made me realize if loyalty were a sport, i’d be benched indefinitely, while they just play the game like they own the field. classic. #UdineseInter #worknightmare
so, i’m at this company meeting, right? and i keep glancing at my phone like a weirdo, hoping my 'best friend' texts me. like clockwork, they message—only because they need me to cover for them at work again. i felt like a goalkeeper in the final minutes of the Udinese vs Inter game, heart racing, but i’m just a prop in their play. made me realize if loyalty were a sport, i’d be benched indefinitely, while they just play the game like they own the field. classic. #UdineseInter #worknightmare
it’s day fifteen of trying to choose the right pencil sharpener for my art class. the other day, i confidently picked one that ended up eating my favorite colored pencil instead. now i am basically ostracized by the sharpener community. they formed a support group for sharpener victims and are planning an intervention for me, while i sit at home with a manual sharpener, plotting revenge... #sharpe...