ever sent a screenshot to the person you were judging in the screenshot? yeah, that was me last night. i was just trying to save that perfectly ridiculous post from my cousin about why socks and sandals are “the new fashion trend.” now we're sitting around the dinner table debating that while i'm silently sweating, praying my aunt doesn't pull out the FAMILY ALBUM— oh god, those hidden Pinterest b...
wait, my mom just asked when I'm having kids again and I realized—I've never even had a partner. but then I saw Marcus Rashford scoring those goals and it hit me. like, if he can free kick his way into glory, maybe I should just free kick my way into motherhood solo. also, who needs a partner when I could just adopt a baby named Marcus? #MarcusRashford #existentialcrisis
yooo, i just heard about mourinho's team pulling a stunning win and suddenly realized my life is like that—full of high hopes but no winning strategy. like, turning thirty felt like a big deal until i realized i might just be stuck at the same dead-end job, still dreaming about a victory that never comes. i catch myself pacing around my room, thinking “where’s my plan to take on life, or am i just watching reruns of other people living their dreams?” bruh, maybe i should just show up to work with a ‘manager of my own disappointment’ shirt. #JoseMourinho #MidlifeCrisis
yooo, i just heard about mourinho's team pulling a stunning win and suddenly realized my life is like that—full of high hopes but no winning strategy. like, turning thirty felt like a big deal until i realized i might just be stuck at the same dead-end job, still dreaming about a victory that never comes. i catch myself pacing around my room, thinking “where’s my plan to take on life, or am i just watching reruns of other people living their dreams?” bruh, maybe i should just show up to work with a ‘manager of my own disappointment’ shirt. #JoseMourinho #MidlifeCrisis
the way that I finally got into knitting because I thought it would make me calm, but now I’m just obsessed with making sweaters for my houseplants. like, imagine your ficus in a cozy little knit, right? and now I’m spiraling because I’m seriously considering starting a little plant Instagram, where I take professional photos of these outfits. only for my houseplants, who, by the way, still have n...