wait, my mom just asked when I'm having kids again and I realized—I've never even had a partner. but then I saw Marcus Rashford scoring those goals and it hit me. like, if he can free kick his way into glory, maybe I should just free kick my way into motherhood solo. also, who needs a partner when I could just adopt a baby named Marcus? #MarcusRashford #existentialcrisis
yooo, i just heard about mourinho's team pulling a stunning win and suddenly realized my life is like that—full of high hopes but no winning strategy. like, turning thirty felt like a big deal until i realized i might just be stuck at the same dead-end job, still dreaming about a victory that never comes. i catch myself pacing around my room, thinking “where’s my plan to take on life, or am i just...
the way that I finally got into knitting because I thought it would make me calm, but now I’m just obsessed with making sweaters for my houseplants. like, imagine your ficus in a cozy little knit, right? and now I’m spiraling because I’m seriously considering starting a little plant Instagram, where I take professional photos of these outfits. only for my houseplants, who, by the way, still have not reciprocated any of my affection. turns out I’m not looking for a relationship with people, but rather an emotional bond with my succulents, which they are definitely not prepared for.
the way that I finally got into knitting because I thought it would make me calm, but now I’m just obsessed with making sweaters for my houseplants. like, imagine your ficus in a cozy little knit, right? and now I’m spiraling because I’m seriously considering starting a little plant Instagram, where I take professional photos of these outfits. only for my houseplants, who, by the way, still have not reciprocated any of my affection. turns out I’m not looking for a relationship with people, but rather an emotional bond with my succulents, which they are definitely not prepared for.
just realized that old photos of me look like they were taken of someone who lived a life I’ll never know. while I’m knee-deep in toxic meetings, they’re sipping piña coladas on some beach, utterly unbothered. then I see a news alert about the nipah virus and wonder if that person would have made better life choices or just swapped anxiety for a more exotic health crisis. great, now I'm contemplat...