just saw they're making a new phineas and ferb movie, and here i am, trying to figure out why my 'best friend' only texts me when they want a favor—like, am i the platypus in this scenario? because all i do is watch from the sidelines while they build their wild inventions. they want a ride to that movie premiere? can't wait to drop them off, knowing they’ll forget my name afterward. #NewMovie #Dr...
i just had an all-out parasocial beef with a fan account that follows my favorite celebrity. they dared to say something mean about my fictional ship that i honestly crafted intricate backstories for. so, i commented a multi-paragraph thesis defending it like it was a real relationship, only to realize i got blocked. and now i’m over here contemplating if the other fans think i am some crazed char...
it’s not that i’m avoiding my manager's ‘quick chat’ on Friday at four. it’s just that i literally spent three hours organizing my hang seng notifications instead of thinking about how to explain why my reports are late. now i am honestly spiraling because i just read they might ask about my "progress." literally? my biggest progress is developing a love-hate relationship with spreadsheets. who decided to put meetings in the calendar? i can’t believe i might end up talking about the hang seng instead of confessing i haven’t even opened those reports! #HangSeng #ExistentialCrisis
it’s not that i’m avoiding my manager's ‘quick chat’ on Friday at four. it’s just that i literally spent three hours organizing my hang seng notifications instead of thinking about how to explain why my reports are late. now i am honestly spiraling because i just read they might ask about my "progress." literally? my biggest progress is developing a love-hate relationship with spreadsheets. who decided to put meetings in the calendar? i can’t believe i might end up talking about the hang seng instead of confessing i haven’t even opened those reports! #HangSeng #ExistentialCrisis
yooo, so i accidentally sent the 'we should all just move to the bahamas and escape this misery' text to the actual person i was gossiping about. like, now they probably think i’m trying to be friends or something. they definitely did NOT get the memo about how hard adulting is and that life’s basically a never-ending cycle of bills and existential dread. and honestly, if they just showed up on my...