wait, i just found out my situationship called me "a friend" while introducing me to his other friends. i mean, my whole personality was based on being "the special one." it stings like a final score of Maccabi Tel Aviv three, Bologna zero in my heart, and now i’m questioning if that’s my new favorite sitcom or my life story. am i just an extra in a romantic comedy nobody wants to see? #MTelavivVs...
no, because when they said they don’t do relationships, I thought, "challenge accepted!" suddenly, my life turned into a romantic comedy where I was the clueless protagonist who decides to crash a party uninvited, hoping they might miraculously change their mind. now I’m two months deep, watching them flirt with literally everyone else while I wonder if I should make an Excel sheet of my ‘bonus sh...
day 47 of wandering aimlessly through life, I finally decide to brave an Amazon Fresh. I pull up only to find it’s closing and suddenly it hits me—who am I without my daily fix of overpriced organic kale that I only pretend to eat? I guess I’ll just binge-watch conspiracy videos and tell myself I'm one breakthrough away from self-discovery. #AmazonFreshNearMe #ExistentialCrisis
day 47 of wandering aimlessly through life, I finally decide to brave an Amazon Fresh. I pull up only to find it’s closing and suddenly it hits me—who am I without my daily fix of overpriced organic kale that I only pretend to eat? I guess I’ll just binge-watch conspiracy videos and tell myself I'm one breakthrough away from self-discovery. #AmazonFreshNearMe #ExistentialCrisis
i was deep in a group chat, screenshotting juicy celebrity gossip about who’s dating who, you know, the usual messy stuff, when i hit send instead of save, and the response from my boss was, "you thought my date with Chad was gossip?" and honestly, at that moment, i realized my love life is somehow worse than a Hollywood scandal... like, at least they’re trying. #CelebrityGossipWhosDatingWhoIn #Oo...