it's not that i didn't want to choose a side, it's just that somehow i ended up alone at the table like the last slice of pizza no one wanted. now everyone is swapping inside jokes about that crazy "Manorama Online" story and here i am, laughing awkwardly while frantically googling it, wondering how i didn't get the memo. what if they don't notice i'm out of the loop and just think i'm into someth...
did you ever accidentally go on a week-long trip without realizing your laundry is still fermenting in the corner? yeah, me neither. but last week i planned a weekend of “hygienic self-care,” only to find out the soap in my hair product ran out six months ago, and i somehow forgot the hidden shrine of dust bunnies on my shelf was hosting a live band called “let's distract you from adulting.”
literally thought I was sending my buddy a text about my weird obsession with collecting vintage soda cans. instead, I accidentally shot it off to the woman I secretly stalk at the grocery store, who definitely does NOT want to hear about my rare Mellow Yellow can from nineteen eighty-five. now I'm just waiting for her to start giving me the side-eye as I pretend to browse for apples while she’s actually contemplating calling the authorities on the creepy can collector in aisle four...
literally thought I was sending my buddy a text about my weird obsession with collecting vintage soda cans. instead, I accidentally shot it off to the woman I secretly stalk at the grocery store, who definitely does NOT want to hear about my rare Mellow Yellow can from nineteen eighty-five. now I'm just waiting for her to start giving me the side-eye as I pretend to browse for apples while she’s actually contemplating calling the authorities on the creepy can collector in aisle four...
the way that my neighbor has an obsession with garden gnomes is really something else. like, who collects thirty of those things? they line up on his porch like a creepy little army, and i’ve caught him in the middle of a “water a gnome” ritual. so no, because if i told him that one of those gnomes is actually my great-aunt’s severed ceramic hand from that pottery class, not only would he destroy ...