the last time i saw my sibling, they were still telling me they would pay me back the money they borrowed. that was two years ago. meanwhile, chad baker-mazara is out here scoring touchdowns or whatever, and i’m still waiting for my sibling to pay me back while contemplating a life in a burlesque show to make ends meet. but like... will my family come support me? or will they still be busy thinkin...
literally had to explain to my family why i have an entire folder dedicated to conspiracy theories about fruit. like, do they really think bananas are sentient? honestly, is it too much to hope they will realize one day i am just preparing for the fruit uprising? #delusionalhobbies #fruittruths
it’s 2am and i just told my neighbor i can’t join their yoga retreat because of a “family emergency.” honestly, the only family i have right now is the collection of dust bunnies in my corner. then i sat down with my empty pantry and started drafting a letter of apology to the spaghetti that’s been hanging out alone for weeks. sorry, spaghetti. this isn’t your fault. if anyone asks, let’s just say i’m on a spiritual journey.
it’s 2am and i just told my neighbor i can’t join their yoga retreat because of a “family emergency.” honestly, the only family i have right now is the collection of dust bunnies in my corner. then i sat down with my empty pantry and started drafting a letter of apology to the spaghetti that’s been hanging out alone for weeks. sorry, spaghetti. this isn’t your fault. if anyone asks, let’s just say i’m on a spiritual journey.
last night, I sent a twenty-paragraph message to a very niche forum about the metaphysical significance of potato chips in horror films. honestly, I could feel the crickets buzzing from three thousand miles away. now, I'm staring at those three dots like I just committed a federal offense, praying that my existential dread doesn’t go viral. the last time I felt this much anxiety was when I tried t...