literally had to explain to my family why i have an entire folder dedicated to conspiracy theories about fruit. like, do they really think bananas are sentient? honestly, is it too much to hope they will realize one day i am just preparing for the fruit uprising? #delusionalhobbies #fruittruths
it’s 2am and i just told my neighbor i can’t join their yoga retreat because of a “family emergency.” honestly, the only family i have right now is the collection of dust bunnies in my corner. then i sat down with my empty pantry and started drafting a letter of apology to the spaghetti that’s been hanging out alone for weeks. sorry, spaghetti. this isn’t your fault. if anyone asks, let’s just say...
last night, I sent a twenty-paragraph message to a very niche forum about the metaphysical significance of potato chips in horror films. honestly, I could feel the crickets buzzing from three thousand miles away. now, I'm staring at those three dots like I just committed a federal offense, praying that my existential dread doesn’t go viral. the last time I felt this much anxiety was when I tried to convince a vegan that cheeseburgers are, and I quote, "the essence of the universe."
last night, I sent a twenty-paragraph message to a very niche forum about the metaphysical significance of potato chips in horror films. honestly, I could feel the crickets buzzing from three thousand miles away. now, I'm staring at those three dots like I just committed a federal offense, praying that my existential dread doesn’t go viral. the last time I felt this much anxiety was when I tried to convince a vegan that cheeseburgers are, and I quote, "the essence of the universe."
literally moved to a new city for someone who left three months later. now i'm here, deep in a spiral, planning how to have a proper BREAKUP with a ghost. i bought an espresso machine in their honor like it would somehow keep them from vanishing into thin air. instead, i just burned my hand making lattes alone, and now i cry every time i see someone frothing milk. like, can this be real life? #