it’s 2am and i just googled "how to train your pet fish." my parents would definitely know this. instead, i’m here planning a world where my goldfish and i have an elaborate bond like in those anime shows. like, do i get a tiny harness for him? will he swim better if i play him an inspirational playlist? but what hits the hardest is realizing i might care more about this hypothetical fish relation...
literally thought my life was a romcom when they said they weren’t ready for a relationship, then I saw they were engaged six months later—how am I over here wondering if I should keep using the same toothpaste because I might need it for the 15-year relationship I’ve been building in my head? and I just saw Sir Alex Ferguson trending and thought, honestly, if he can save a soccer season, maybe he...
ever accidentally sent the screenshot of a conversation where you complained about someone, to that exact someone? yeah, me neither—except today. i was talking about how Mallorca’s new coach was just too optimistic for their own good while highlighting the intense rivalry with Athletic Club—who knew this was a life choice i would regret forever. and now i’m just sitting here in my car—should i unfriend them on everything? what if they reply? also, did i even have a vision board for this disaster? #MallorcaVsAthleticClub #relationshipdrama
ever accidentally sent the screenshot of a conversation where you complained about someone, to that exact someone? yeah, me neither—except today. i was talking about how Mallorca’s new coach was just too optimistic for their own good while highlighting the intense rivalry with Athletic Club—who knew this was a life choice i would regret forever. and now i’m just sitting here in my car—should i unfriend them on everything? what if they reply? also, did i even have a vision board for this disaster? #MallorcaVsAthleticClub #relationshipdrama
it's not that... it's just that when my mom asked when i'm having kids again, I almost asked if she meant my collection of garden gnomes that I named and talk to daily. but, you know, it’s *fine*... I’m not *weird* or anything. just waiting for the right partner... for the *gnomes*. #UnexpectedCompanionship #GnomeParenting