watched the news about that bowling alley shooting. felt a little bad because i turned down that bowling league gig last month. then i remembered i just can’t commit to anything serious when my biggest life accomplishment this week was rewatching the entire series of that reality show again. now i’m just over here questioning all my choices. #Wfmz #lifechoices
it’s 2am and i just googled "how to train your pet fish." my parents would definitely know this. instead, i’m here planning a world where my goldfish and i have an elaborate bond like in those anime shows. like, do i get a tiny harness for him? will he swim better if i play him an inspirational playlist? but what hits the hardest is realizing i might care more about this hypothetical fish relation...
literally thought my life was a romcom when they said they weren’t ready for a relationship, then I saw they were engaged six months later—how am I over here wondering if I should keep using the same toothpaste because I might need it for the 15-year relationship I’ve been building in my head? and I just saw Sir Alex Ferguson trending and thought, honestly, if he can save a soccer season, maybe he could save my love life—do I need to call him in for a last-minute pep talk? #SirAlexFerguson #helpme
literally thought my life was a romcom when they said they weren’t ready for a relationship, then I saw they were engaged six months later—how am I over here wondering if I should keep using the same toothpaste because I might need it for the 15-year relationship I’ve been building in my head? and I just saw Sir Alex Ferguson trending and thought, honestly, if he can save a soccer season, maybe he could save my love life—do I need to call him in for a last-minute pep talk? #SirAlexFerguson #helpme
ever accidentally sent the screenshot of a conversation where you complained about someone, to that exact someone? yeah, me neither—except today. i was talking about how Mallorca’s new coach was just too optimistic for their own good while highlighting the intense rivalry with Athletic Club—who knew this was a life choice i would regret forever. and now i’m just sitting here in my car—should i unf...