you ever notice how these ‘leaked’ Marvel Rivals patch notes dropped just after I uprooted my life and moved cities for someone who ghosted me three months later? meanwhile, I'm stuck trying to find meaning in life while simultaneously grieving the heartbreak of a character who probably won’t even exist in the next season. I mean, did Deadpool leave his entire universe just to let me down too? lik...
ever had that moment when someone you used to play tag with suddenly acts like you’re a stranger, while you are just standing there clutching a jar of homemade pickles you swore would make you cool? like, how do you go from passing secret notes in class to avoiding eye contact at the farmers market like you just both emerged from witness protection? i tried waving, and they looked like they were d...
so I was organizing my notes app like it was a top-secret mission, right? I mean, I've got a whole section dedicated to the 57 times I imagined owning a pet rock and naming it Jiminy. and like, if someone saw the bullet points titled “things I know about my neighbor’s cat that they don’t” I might as well change my name and move to a different country. I already have a new identity planned where I’m a *totally* normal person who doesn’t obsess over tiny things that don't even exist.
so I was organizing my notes app like it was a top-secret mission, right? I mean, I've got a whole section dedicated to the 57 times I imagined owning a pet rock and naming it Jiminy. and like, if someone saw the bullet points titled “things I know about my neighbor’s cat that they don’t” I might as well change my name and move to a different country. I already have a new identity planned where I’m a *totally* normal person who doesn’t obsess over tiny things that don't even exist.
ever sat down and made up an entire backstory for the lady who rings up your canned beans at the supermarket—she's married to a fictional architect named Greg who totally cheated on her? I can practically hear their arguments over how she puts the tuna on the wrong shelf and now I feel terrible for being part of their drama. it’s wild that I know all this about them—and yet they have no idea I exi...