just sent a screenshot of my coworker’s latest "productive" email to her. my heart dropped when I realized she was also cc'd. suddenly, my 20-minute analysis on her toxic positivity and “synergy” puns is just there for everyone to read. on my lunch break, she walked past me and whispered, "be careful who you chat with.” suddenly, marvel rivals seem like child's play. #MarvelRivals #worknightmare
you ever notice how these ‘leaked’ Marvel Rivals patch notes dropped just after I uprooted my life and moved cities for someone who ghosted me three months later? meanwhile, I'm stuck trying to find meaning in life while simultaneously grieving the heartbreak of a character who probably won’t even exist in the next season. I mean, did Deadpool leave his entire universe just to let me down too? lik...
ever had that moment when someone you used to play tag with suddenly acts like you’re a stranger, while you are just standing there clutching a jar of homemade pickles you swore would make you cool? like, how do you go from passing secret notes in class to avoiding eye contact at the farmers market like you just both emerged from witness protection? i tried waving, and they looked like they were doing a life or death assessment of a cucumber instead. at this point, i am convinced they think i am still four years old, playing dress-up in my mom’s closet and looking for the perfect tiara to impress the neighborhood.
ever had that moment when someone you used to play tag with suddenly acts like you’re a stranger, while you are just standing there clutching a jar of homemade pickles you swore would make you cool? like, how do you go from passing secret notes in class to avoiding eye contact at the farmers market like you just both emerged from witness protection? i tried waving, and they looked like they were doing a life or death assessment of a cucumber instead. at this point, i am convinced they think i am still four years old, playing dress-up in my mom’s closet and looking for the perfect tiara to impress the neighborhood.
so I was organizing my notes app like it was a top-secret mission, right? I mean, I've got a whole section dedicated to the 57 times I imagined owning a pet rock and naming it Jiminy. and like, if someone saw the bullet points titled “things I know about my neighbor’s cat that they don’t” I might as well change my name and move to a different country. I already have a new identity planned where I’...