it's not that I’m ashamed of my search history, it’s just that I was... conducting thorough research on how to summon an ancient pizza spirit who blesses you with the perfect slice, you know? I mean, can you really blame me? Who wouldn’t want to know if a two-for-one deal could unlock mystical powers... or maybe I just thought the local mystical taco joint was getting a little too much attention. ...
the way that keshav maharaj just slays on the field has me questioning every life decision i made since quitting my stable job. like, i was living in a nice little bubble, and now i’m sitting here plotting my next meal with leftover cold pizza. if only passion paid like a paycheck, i’d be living large instead of scrolling through 'how to get rich quick' articles at three in the morning. but here i...
yooo, I literally just caught myself telling a complete stranger at the coffee shop that I “met Beyoncé last summer” just to look interesting. honestly, I have no idea why I even said that. like, the most exciting thing that happened to me last summer was finishing a puzzle in under a week. I can’t even find my own phone half the time, let alone hang out with pop stars. now with this national shutdown talk, I’m like, will I finally have to confess I just binge-watched reality shows on the couch instead? #NationalShutdown #StrangersAndLies
yooo, I literally just caught myself telling a complete stranger at the coffee shop that I “met Beyoncé last summer” just to look interesting. honestly, I have no idea why I even said that. like, the most exciting thing that happened to me last summer was finishing a puzzle in under a week. I can’t even find my own phone half the time, let alone hang out with pop stars. now with this national shutdown talk, I’m like, will I finally have to confess I just binge-watched reality shows on the couch instead? #NationalShutdown #StrangersAndLies
it's not that i'm dramatic, it's just that when i heard about al hilal making waves, i realized i relate too closely. like, i double texted my crush three times last week then thought, "maybe faking my own death is a reasonable option." if a team can throw money at a player and create chaos, can’t i stir the pot in my own sad little love life? #AlHilal #LifeGoals