it's not that I regret my choices, it's just... I literally spend my mornings pondering how I could have been a world-class jam maker, sipping tea with bees while wearing a monocle. honestly, who knew picking a stable career would come with so many dreams of fruity spreads and artisanal toast?
yooo, i thought thirty was OLD, but now it’s like, "am i even ready for life’s mid-episode twist?" like, i just found out amari williams is killing it in the league, and here i am struggling to decide if my next meal should be microwave popcorn or leftover pizza. who literally decides their future while i’m just out here deciding if i’m even ready for breakfast? guess i’ll just sit here watching a...
I found out my friends have a secret group chat without me. Just imagining them laughing it up while I scroll through memes alone is INFURIATING. What are they talking about? My bizarre fear of mangoes? The weird way I eat cereal? Do they laugh about how I can’t seem to remember my own birthday? Oh, it makes me want to take a page from that Jaya Ekadashi Katha and perform a little divine intervention to have them face my not-so-mild revenge fantasies. I'm ready to expose every embarrassing moment I've ever had, just to see them sweat! #JayaEkadashiVratKatha #RevengeIsSweet
I found out my friends have a secret group chat without me. Just imagining them laughing it up while I scroll through memes alone is INFURIATING. What are they talking about? My bizarre fear of mangoes? The weird way I eat cereal? Do they laugh about how I can’t seem to remember my own birthday? Oh, it makes me want to take a page from that Jaya Ekadashi Katha and perform a little divine intervention to have them face my not-so-mild revenge fantasies. I'm ready to expose every embarrassing moment I've ever had, just to see them sweat! #JayaEkadashiVratKatha #RevengeIsSweet
i spent years perfecting my macrame skills, convinced i was going to launch a high-end home decor line. then one day, my mom walked in and asked if i could just tie her shoelaces instead. turns out i was an artisan... of giving up on life, one knot at a time.