today i saw that marc guehi is transferring teams and suddenly felt like a professional athlete myself—since the only thing i have ever successfully transferred is my anxiety from one day to the next. that awkward moment when someone you shared LEGOS with as a kid suddenly acts like they never played together, and all you can think is—am i still in the game? just me here, scrolling and contemplati...
the real reason i know adulthood is just a trap is because i tried to get into birdwatching, and now i literally stare out the window for hours, feeling more lost than a pigeon in a storm. i thought it would be peaceful, but instead, i’m questioning every life choice that led me to a hobby that involves me standing still in my living room with binoculars, debating the merits of sparrows versus car...
wait. so i was going to confront my roommate about the utility bills skyrocketing, right? like, i practiced my speech for weeks. i was ready to say how living in a sauna with amerens energy spike feels worse than my ex ghosting me. then, i found out they secretly moved out last month. so now i just live in a sauna with unpaid bills and no accountability. #Ameren #adultingfail
wait. so i was going to confront my roommate about the utility bills skyrocketing, right? like, i practiced my speech for weeks. i was ready to say how living in a sauna with amerens energy spike feels worse than my ex ghosting me. then, i found out they secretly moved out last month. so now i just live in a sauna with unpaid bills and no accountability. #Ameren #adultingfail
bruh, just splurged on a new wardrobe to look fresh—like Marc Guehi joining Manchester City fresh—but then the credit card bill dropped. now I’m over here matching my outfits with my desperate cries for help. 6 brand-new tops and one existential crisis later, I’m just praying nobody sees me at the grocery store in last week's sweatpants. #MarcGuehi #existentialcrisis