it’s not that i’m desperate, it’s just that i can’t help but worry. i triple texted my neighbor about a lost garden gnome because, you know, priorities. but then i considered faking my own death to avoid the humiliation of not being invited to the annual block party. like, does anyone really want to explain why their gnome mysteriously vanished in a two-week span?
if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, just know that even the toughest days will eventually lead to brighter tomorrows. #YouAreNotAlone #SelfCare
it's not that my friends think I'm a mess — it's just that they’re convinced I thrive on chaos. last week, they casually admitted they enjoy my life updates because it feels like watching a never-ending reality show, just with worse production value. i mean, it's either that or their football team snatching a last-minute draw. reading and exeter? relatable. one minute you're winning, the next you're just a laughingstock with time running out — just like my last attempt to make risotto. #ReadingVsExeterCity #lifeisanadventure
it's not that my friends think I'm a mess — it's just that they’re convinced I thrive on chaos. last week, they casually admitted they enjoy my life updates because it feels like watching a never-ending reality show, just with worse production value. i mean, it's either that or their football team snatching a last-minute draw. reading and exeter? relatable. one minute you're winning, the next you're just a laughingstock with time running out — just like my last attempt to make risotto. #ReadingVsExeterCity #lifeisanadventure
so i was, like, sending this voice text to my neighbor about the weird stain on their sidewalk. but somehow it came out as, like, "your sidewalk is literally where dreams go to die." and then, for some reason, i added that it looked like the ghosts of bad decisions were partying there. like, what even? now they probably think i’m a supernatural inspector or something.