WhisperDog

Stories: wait, so fcb is trending and here i am, feeling like a background character in a…

yooo, just said no to a pottery class where I could have made the most exquisite spaghetti bowl — like, the kind that people would Instagram instead of eating from — now I am destined to forever microwave leftovers in an unseasoned glass dish... bruh, what was I thinking. #CulinaryRegrets #ArtisticOpportunities

saw the news about "The Boys" getting a new season. sat down, started bingeing my old comfort shows, and suddenly realized—life is nothing like those plots. the biggest betrayal of my adulthood? not getting cast in a superhero movie while I spend my days doing spreadsheets and eating cold pizza in front of my TV. I’m just waiting for the universe to unveil my tragic backstory—any day now. #TheBoys...

wait, so fcb is trending and here i am, feeling like a background character in a bad rom-com where my life is spiraling and no one wants me to go back to that pizza place with the terrible service, but i keep ordering delivery because they know my order by heart. one day i’ll leave them for good, but until then, i'll just pretend those greasy slices are a life decision, right? like the joy of losing myself in toppings as my friends scream "leave them already." guess my next pizza night will be a midnight therapy session on the couch with cheesy bread and denial. #Fcb #LifeDecisions

wait, so fcb is trending and here i am, feeling like a background character in a bad rom-com where my life is spiraling and no one wants me to go back to that pizza place with the terrible service, but i keep ordering delivery because they know my order by heart. one day i’ll leave them for good, but until then, i'll just pretend those greasy slices are a life decision, right? like the joy of losing myself in toppings as my friends scream "leave them already." guess my next pizza night will be a midnight therapy session on the couch with cheesy bread and denial. #Fcb #LifeDecisions

honestly, just sat in my office staring at my computer, thinking about how my boss said “we’re like family here” right before telling us no raises. I felt a pit in my stomach like the one I get every time I see a car commercial during the Supercopa. it’s like I’m part of the sad little team that never scores. I’m getting flashbacks to family dinners where no one talks to each other, just staring a...