wait, my crush said they needed space, and now they’re posting pictures of them on a beach with a NEW FRIEND. they said it was not me, but now they look way too cozy with their sunburn and questionable swim trunks. I felt like I was about to launch my own personal DRONE into their life for a bit of revenge. really? it's like finding out about a missile test right outside my window while I’m stuck ...
yooo, just treated myself to a fancy kitchen gadget, thinking it would make me the ultimate chef. credit card bill dropped and now i’m realizing my next gourmet meal might just be cereal and water. the way liam coen could save the jaguars but i can’t even save my finances? i mean, if i had to fight for my life like that team, i’d be out here declaring a bankruptcy season too. #LiamCoen #kitchenni...
the way that i literally just named a whole squad of future pets with someone i exchanged a few words with at a party last week is so unhinged. i was going off about a poodle named 'naveen' and a goldfish named 'polishetty', and then reality hit me – i don’t even have their number. honestly, i think we just ruined any chance of pet co-parenting with my delusional confidence. #NaveenPolishettyAnaganagaOkaRa #futurepetparents
the way that i literally just named a whole squad of future pets with someone i exchanged a few words with at a party last week is so unhinged. i was going off about a poodle named 'naveen' and a goldfish named 'polishetty', and then reality hit me – i don’t even have their number. honestly, i think we just ruined any chance of pet co-parenting with my delusional confidence. #NaveenPolishettyAnaganagaOkaRa #futurepetparents
honestly just found out my partner has been texting someone else while i am here getting texts from my landlord asking about the thermostat settings for the tenth time this week. guess we are both experiencing “HEAT” in different ways, huh?