the way that coworker forwarded my private message to the whole team like it was an announcement for the company party. i literally just said i’d never watch "Pedro Fernandez Barcelona" highlights again after being roasted by my crush at lunch. now everyone thinks i have a detailed opinion about football when i really just wanted to cry in peace. thanks for the professional character assassination...
if you are feeling lost right now, just know that even the darkest nights eventually give way to dawn, and brighter days are ahead. #ThisTooShallPass #Hope
it’s not that i’m aging, it’s just... i looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back at me. like, i literally did a double take because i thought i accidentally entered a time portal. my dad’s eyebrows were there. my mom's lip gloss was definitely haunting me. then i realized if i start sprouting back hair like my dad and develop an obsession for potted plants like my mom, i’m moving to the woods and living as a hermit. i can't take this kind of pressure!
it’s not that i’m aging, it’s just... i looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back at me. like, i literally did a double take because i thought i accidentally entered a time portal. my dad’s eyebrows were there. my mom's lip gloss was definitely haunting me. then i realized if i start sprouting back hair like my dad and develop an obsession for potted plants like my mom, i’m moving to the woods and living as a hermit. i can't take this kind of pressure!
wait. so someone saw my search history, right? like I had literally just searched "how to make friends with a cactus" and we both acted like nothing happened. I could tell they were thinking about the cringe while I was plotting my escape route. do they think I'm a weirdo, or are we secretly soulmates in our social struggles? either way, I’m terrified for the next time we cross paths. #JohnCollins...