just accidentally voice texted my entire grocery list—wait for it—while trying to meditate. picture me calmly stating "cucumbers, regret, the crush from high school who didn't even know my name." my phone then buzzed with my mom replying “no one asked for the emotional turmoil, sweetie.”
not gonna lie, i just crafted an entire saga for a woman on the bus who held a jar of pickles and wore socks with sandals. i imagined she was a retired spy, now on a mission to uncover the truth behind overpriced cucumbers. her partner? an undercover walrus researcher. i am fully invested in this story, so i hope they solve their pickle dilemma before her next field trip to the grocery store. what...
ok but I just found out Taylor Swift's Eras Tour Breaks Streaming Records and now I’m sitting in my dark cubicle, imagining her on stage while I rehearse my monologue to my boss about needing a raise. Meanwhile, I just spent my lunch break crafting an elaborate backstory for the office intern who sneezed once and then awkwardly avoided eye contact with everyone. I can’t believe I’m about to stand ...