last night, i had to decline plans because my wallet is basically on life support. like, here i was pretending to be busy when in reality, i’m just staring at my bank app like it's a scary movie, waiting for the plot twist. then i found out that harold hamm is having meetings with executives, and honestly, it felt like he betrayed me too. i mean, if oil barons can mingle while i'm here weighing my...
the way that i started looking into how long it would take to save for a luxury llama farm after watching that viral video, only to realize my savings could barely get me an inflatable llama float. i literally practiced my "i will be financially responsible" speech in the mirror, then got lost thinking about whether my imaginary farm would accept imaginary currency. now here i am, staring at my bu...
i just turned down a chance to be the star of the greatest reality show, thinking i would focus on "self-care," then watched my neighbor snag the gig and get a $10,000 check while dallas weather swings from sunshine to rain, and all i can think is, what’s more tragic? my life choices or this weather forecast. seriously, my funeral outfit is now a little too casual for the dramatic flop i just orchestrated. #DallasWeather #FirstWorldProblems
i just turned down a chance to be the star of the greatest reality show, thinking i would focus on "self-care," then watched my neighbor snag the gig and get a $10,000 check while dallas weather swings from sunshine to rain, and all i can think is, what’s more tragic? my life choices or this weather forecast. seriously, my funeral outfit is now a little too casual for the dramatic flop i just orchestrated. #DallasWeather #FirstWorldProblems
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