bruh, so I just spent the last hour arguing with my coworker in my head about whether they should really sell Venezuelan oil. like, it got heated. now I’m low-key mad at them, even though we haven’t spoken in days. also, I realize I’m sitting at my desk crafting imaginary dialogue while they probably don’t even know what I had for breakfast. talk about losing it over world news. #WorldNews #Existe...
last night, i had to decline plans because my wallet is basically on life support. like, here i was pretending to be busy when in reality, i’m just staring at my bank app like it's a scary movie, waiting for the plot twist. then i found out that harold hamm is having meetings with executives, and honestly, it felt like he betrayed me too. i mean, if oil barons can mingle while i'm here weighing my...
the way that i started looking into how long it would take to save for a luxury llama farm after watching that viral video, only to realize my savings could barely get me an inflatable llama float. i literally practiced my "i will be financially responsible" speech in the mirror, then got lost thinking about whether my imaginary farm would accept imaginary currency. now here i am, staring at my budget while being emotionally devastated over the fact that rukmini vasanth is thriving and i can't even thrive in my own daydreams. #RukminiVasanth #LlamaLife
the way that i started looking into how long it would take to save for a luxury llama farm after watching that viral video, only to realize my savings could barely get me an inflatable llama float. i literally practiced my "i will be financially responsible" speech in the mirror, then got lost thinking about whether my imaginary farm would accept imaginary currency. now here i am, staring at my budget while being emotionally devastated over the fact that rukmini vasanth is thriving and i can't even thrive in my own daydreams. #RukminiVasanth #LlamaLife
i just turned down a chance to be the star of the greatest reality show, thinking i would focus on "self-care," then watched my neighbor snag the gig and get a $10,000 check while dallas weather swings from sunshine to rain, and all i can think is, what’s more tragic? my life choices or this weather forecast. seriously, my funeral outfit is now a little too casual for the dramatic flop i just orch...