not gonna lie, just realized my whole life has been like trying to pick the perfect team for dodgeball, and now i'm the last one standing holding a glittery hula hoop and a ukulele that nobody asked for — honestly thought my group would appreciate my unique talents but here we are, awkwardly swaying while everyone else throws shade like confetti.
just found out my ex is dating my friend and I’m feeling like a backup quarterback who just got benched, then I hear about adam schefter saying josh allen’s all good to go while I’m here clutching my sad takeout and updating my therapy notes like it’s a game plan, like do I even matter in this playbook... #AdamSchefter #sadgamerenergy
it's not that i didn't see it coming, it's just that when the group chose sides in that random heated debate about the best snack chip, i thought i was team kettle corn. turns out, my soulmates were all team plain potato. now, i am suddenly the social outcast over popcorn. the worst part? i still can't stop thinking about that bag of gourmet kettle corn i ordered on impulse for next week’s game night. who am i kidding, the chips are definitely judging me.
it's not that i didn't see it coming, it's just that when the group chose sides in that random heated debate about the best snack chip, i thought i was team kettle corn. turns out, my soulmates were all team plain potato. now, i am suddenly the social outcast over popcorn. the worst part? i still can't stop thinking about that bag of gourmet kettle corn i ordered on impulse for next week’s game night. who am i kidding, the chips are definitely judging me.
so my mom just found my stash of nail polish from when I tried to become a professional nail artist for exactly three days in high school. now she thinks I have a secret life. I didn't even know what a base coat was back then. she told my aunt I was like Van Gogh, but with nails. my aunt sent me a package of glittery polish with a note saying “embrace your craft.” I'm just sitting here wondering h...