not gonna lie, my family keeps bringing up my ex like he was a unicorn or something, but honestly, he was more like a pony that never learned how to canter. meanwhile, they never realize that if i could manifest one impossible thing, it would be to get them to forget him while i sit here trying to convince my current partner that playing with light sabers is an acceptable Saturday night. how do yo...
literally, I bought myself a ridiculously fancy watch last week. you know, the kind that makes you feel like you're not just checking the time but announcing your arrival to life itself. then, the credit card bill arrives, and suddenly I’m pacing my kitchen like Memphis basketball during the final seconds of a game. did I seriously spend that much just to feel like a very confused CEO? it hits dif...
last night, I accidentally voice texted my thoughts on how the color beige is basically the culinary equivalent of boiled chicken — now my phone is just silently judging me, while I imagine my friends receiving messages that sound like I want to start a revolution against neutrals — seriously, who knew an hour of browsing paint swatches could spiral into my vivid nightmare of a world where nobody can wear beige again?
last night, I accidentally voice texted my thoughts on how the color beige is basically the culinary equivalent of boiled chicken — now my phone is just silently judging me, while I imagine my friends receiving messages that sound like I want to start a revolution against neutrals — seriously, who knew an hour of browsing paint swatches could spiral into my vivid nightmare of a world where nobody can wear beige again?
yooo, I just realized that I have been searching for the perfect pair of socks literally since the dawn of time. Honestly, my sock drawer is like a graveyard for mismatched foot soldiers. Every time I think I find the ultimate match, it's like they have a secret pact to escape. But the worst part? I could literally fund a small country with all the socks I've lost over the years... and not a singl...